Blogs are getting harder to write, because the days keep getting more difficult and it's hard to talk/write about. As i've expressed to close friends, i'm starting to lose my composure and positive attitude, and I'm sure Tony can sense this weakness in me.
Friday (today) was supposed to mark the end of 6 weeks of intensive treatment chemo and radiation, with the weeks and months ahead dedicated to rehabilitation and recovery.
Earlier this week the doctors gave us the disappointing news that they didn't think Tony's tumor had shrunk as much as they thought it should have given the very aggressive chemo and radiation plan. On Monday, we'll know if more treatment will be required but we're preparing for the additional treatment plan...
Another chemo treatment on November 30th is planned. Another 5 days of radiation is likely planned. The outcome is that likely Tony will require reconstructive surgery on his jaw within a couple of years, because the tumor is in such a place that they can't avoid the jaw while delivering the radiation and it will decompose.
As you can imagine this was devastating to Tony who thought Friday was the milestone day. Thus, a new level of depression, frustration and anger has set in.
For me, a deep level of guilt has overcome me as I try to work full-time and can't dedicate enough time to him during the day. Continued thanks to everyone who have taken and picked Tony up from radiation sessions-- this week Wendy, Dennis and Rolly.
I must express incredible gratitude to the Shaw Cancer Center staff who has provided us with so much support only a daily basis-- in particular Vanessa, Susan, Katie, Marisella, Leeza, Krista, Natalie, Chris, Mary, Claudia, Pharmacists August, Susie, Sue and of course Drs. Hardenberg and Urquhart. Apologies to radiation staff with which i have less interaction and can't name by name. Everyone has been amazing.
Well TGIF and tomorrow is another day.
No comments:
Post a Comment